high heels and hymn books

In my first blog post I said that boy stories would be included and have not yet followed through, that is, until now.

I have never had a déjà vu. Previously I have been somewhat saddened by this. Why do other people get to see a glimpse into the future and I can’t? Today I realized something, I like to create fictional futures and perhaps that is why déjà vu will never work for me. For instance today I imagined the scene pictured below. Change the blonde girl to me and the boy speaking to a boy I used to date sitting in front of me. Now play scenario:

Now you may ask, what could a boy do that would make me want to knock him senseless with a harmless hymnal in the chapel nonetheless?

A boy could show up with his new girlfriend and spend all of sacrament meeting flirting, talking and staring at her a few rows in front of you. He could then walk over to say hi and introduce the new unfortunate girl. (luckily I dodged that bullet)

This comes after him treating me like crap while we dated and never acknowledging to anyone that I was dating him.
After countless awkward encounters where he tried to be best friends days after he broke up with me.
After saying we should go on a road trip together (after we broke up).
After regifting a gift certificate as a 'congratulation for getting into the bfa' while he had a new girlfriend.
After texting me day in and out for a week like I was his own personal ask jeeves (after I gave back the gift certificates and said that was weird since he has a new girl friend...)


But even more amazing was the fact that I found out about at least one girl he accosted within days of breaking up with me. Apparently he had his eyes set on someone new while we were dating. I do not like this boy at all, I don’t much respect him either, but something about seeing him flaunt a new girl in church today made me want to throw the good book at his face. (and for some reason I don’t think God would have been disappointed in me, maybe just the 10 rows of people that could have been hit in the cross fire)
Boys can suck so it is good I have some girl friends. You know you have good friends when you are in a fowl mood and they stick around. Enter Rachel and the best note I have received in church:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sometimes you might want
To hit boys with your shoe.

Enter my second fictious future: (thank you Red Eye for giving me new ideas about what high heels are for)

did i mention he used my netflix account for almost two months after we broke up?

Who throws a shoe?! Why, I do :)