"would it be okay if i smelled you?"

Welcome one and all to the wonderfully awkward world of dating. 

As you might have noticed from the photo above, I am notorious for my awkward dates (can I also mention how hilarious I think it is that they made the font twice as large on mine as the other peoples' statements? bahaha). Over the past--almost--decade of dating, there has been a reoccurring theme: unusual methods of flirting followed by unusual outings on the town ending with those fabulously awkward three quarter hugs (you know the type, you give them the benefit of the doubt about hugging and go in for the normal full frontal hug and they give you a timid side hug/pat on the back...).

But, I can't get down about my dating history, it might not be stellar and I might not be close to marriage, but at least my friends and I have gotten a few good chuckles. 

I don't want to give away too many stories too early--the better (or is it worse?) dates will get their own posts--but let's just say that I have had the following things happen: 

*I have been thrown in a pond and pool fully clothed as a way of flirting--by the same boy none-the-less. 

*Instead of having a date pick me up at our mutual apartment complex, he had me meet him in front of the Taco Bell on campus; he said it is where he 'normally likes to meet people.' 

*I have eaten spaghetti covered in cheddar cheese with a set of twins at their house (standing, not sitting at the table) before one of them took me on the rest of our date; I still can't tell them apart.

*I walked over three miles barefoot on a river trail through sludge and over one passed-out bum as part of a date. 

*While walking to my car to drive a date and myself home, he abruptly decided that he would rather stay and study some of those text books he lugged around in a backpack our entire date.

*The first words out of blind date's mouth were: 'oh no, I forgot my book of questions to ask people when I first meet them.' Ten minutes later he said 'oh no, I forgot my book of photos to show you who I am faster than telling you...'

*Had a boy accost me at every chance meeting asking if he could smell me. He once said, 'you smell so good, you smell just like my grandmother's house' (For the record, I DO NOT smell like an old lady).

and there are more. so many more. 

To read the stories in their entirety, wander on back to the good old blog. 

and even better than reading my stories, submit your own by emailing them to jane.bethany@gmail.com, perhaps you too can make the Tandem Hall of Fame.
(which is my blog, there is no real hall of fame, but there is a backseat to my tandem if you happen to be a sauve boy would like to sweep me off my feet...).

i'm glad at least one of my encounters was caught on film
damn those two girls for helping such a man squash me in a foot of stagnate water

(and for the record, i drove home in my underpants because my clothes were so cold. I had to sit in my driveway until none of my neighbors were in sight before i dashed in the house, wet undies and all...)