see jane date

something strange happened in my 22nd year, but i still can't figure out what.

You see, i am not the dating type. It isn't that i don't like dating, i just am not good at being the girl that guys immediately think to ask out, it generally takes a few encounters before they realize that i could be a possibility (or realize i am not crazy and my comments are sarcastic not serious). 

Girls that get asked out a lot are good at flirting, generally shower every day, wear cute outfits, are never seen without makeup, say the right things etc. And why wouldn't they get asked out? They do everything right and therefore deserve it.

I however, not many of those. Flirting is like a foreign language to me, if i don't feel dirty i don't shower, i had to make a new year's resolution to wear makeup, and i more often than not say completely inappropriate things on accident. I do wear cute outfits though, (even the girl at the Nissan dealership stopped me yesterday to tell me how cute my outfit was). But i am not bitter toward these flirty girls, to each his own, we are all different and neither of us are pining to be like the other.

But recently i have somehow shifted to the other side. I, Bethany Jane Davis, had not one, not two, but three boys ask me out or ask for my phone number in January. 

I fee like i have become a Bakawali flower, it rarely blooms and it is does so, it is only at night and wilts before dawn. 

Perhaps i am reached my prime. I had better act fast before the dawn comes... or i could just figure out what has started intriguing the opposite sex. Yes, that latter idea sounds like a better plan. Find out why they are intrigued, perfect it, and then hook the entire male population. This is fool proof. This is perfect. 

Maybe i should write my own version of the childhood classics 'Fun with Dick and Jane.' 'See Jane Date' could become a quick bestseller. It is bound to be full of off color comments said on accident, awkward dating formalities and of course, graceful exits-my specialty.

or perhaps boys have started asking me out because i am no longer bitter (yes, this is me admitting that i was a bitter person). I recently found a note i wrote on Facebook almost exactly a year ago, it is more than slightly bitter towards the male race...

and yes, i now realize i am probably just as bad of a date as the boys that i mentioned. Heck i know there is at least one blog post floating around about me... haha

"anthem of a 22 year old girl 
(not to be confused with a certain 23 year old girl)
posted on March 1st, 2010

before i begin, let me warn you, this is a pessimistic note. do not think that i hate life or half of the population, a lot of you i still love, like this much <3 <3 <3, this note is mostly for about ten or so unnamed individuals and anyone who mimics them.

i have come to a pathetic realization over the past little while, chivalry is utterly and completely dead and for the most part my counter part in society, the male, is lacking.

my friends often remind me of my stellar dating trend and ask to hear stories of the latest awkward/entertaining date that i have suffered through. Okay, suffering isn't a completely honest word choice, they have not been that bad, but i do wonder what goes through a boys mind when he thinks, "i want to ask that bethany girl out, we have so much in common!" seriously? so much in common? But even worse than the less than magical, semi-annual dates, is the fact that boys can't even be trusted in daily interaction.

Though i doubt that many, if any, of the boys that need a lesson in dating or just how to be human, will read this, let me give a few pieces of priceless advice.

15 tips for the lacking male:

1. do not go on a date with a girl and never tell her your full name, 'Buck' is not attractive.
2. do not go on a blind date and play 'how well do you know your date' because the answer is not at all.
3. do not hold a girls hand and then the next day tell her you already have a girlfriend, whoops!
4. do not ask a girl to meet you by a fast food restaurant to start off your date (and yes by, not even at) on campus none the less.
5. do not say 'let's get dinner' at the end of the date and then let her pay for herself, it was your idea after all.
6. do not go on walks that are miles long when the girl is wearing high heels and then no shoes at all.
7. do not invite a girl to watch a movie, cuddle, and then pretend it never happened, that was all your doing.
8. do not plan a group date and tell your date all the details but say 'but don't tell the other girls, we want it to be a special surprise for them.'
9. do not ask the girl to drive herself to part of the date, especially a group date where everyone else picks up their dates.
10. do not take a girl out for long periods of time without feeding her.
11. do not kiss a girl and then tell her it was an accident and you didn't mean to.
12. after you reject a girl do not keep asking her to do favors for you.
13. do not sit in your chair while your date leaves the restaurant to feed the parking meter, maybe you should even offer to pay for half.
14. do not be little a girls major or job, it only makes her want to punch you.
15. do not throw a fully clothed girl into a pool (amazingly enough this has happend to me three times, yes three different boys, three different pools) either you really hate me or your way of flirting sucks.

i know that i am not the perfect date, but i do try. living in provo and going to byu is already strange enough when it comes to meeting the opposite sex, let's not try and make it more difficult.

so to all of you boys that have one of these pathetic rules named after you, shame on you, what would your mother say? i do not wish to be put on a pedestal but the doormat is a little much. and in case you didn't realize it when you blew me off or made a fool out of me, i am worth it and a hell of a lot more.

best of luck to us all, but i wish you even more luck, mister male, who is anxiously engaged in trying to woo the ladies."